Tis the season to be jolly: Emotion regulation in the festive season and beyond
As lovely as the festive season is, for many it can be a time of heightened anxiety, sadness and frustration. There’s just so much to do. You might be spending more time with family than you would like or not enough and thinking about those you have lost. Financial pressures are significant this year also and may be impacting on your Christmas. Christmas (and New Year) whether you love it or hate it is likely to stir some strong emotions. So, what is the best way to manage your emotions this holiday season? Dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT) is a psychological treatment focused on improving mindfulness, emotion regulation, distress tolerance and interpersonal effectiveness skills. All of the above can come in use this festive season. Here are some of my top DBT skills for the festive season and beyond.
1) Mindfulness: Mindfulness is all about being in the present moment. An important skill over the festive season if you are noticing yourself dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. People often associate mindfulness with formal meditation, which is just one way of practising mindfulness. You can also practise mindfulness when doing practically anything from wrapping Christmas presents (noticing colours, sounds, texture, smell of the wrapping paper) to washing up after Christmas dinner by fully participating in this activity. Being more mindful and present focused may also mean you might notice positive emotions you may have otherwise missed. Also allowing yourself to experience more difficult emotions rather than pushing them away.
2) Emotion regulation: Just noticing and labelling an emotion (e.g. I am feeling sad”) is the first step in regulating or managing it. Just this simple step reduces the emotion slightly. Then you can think about what next. Sometimes mindfulness is all that is needed and it can be helpful to experience that emotion. Other times you might need to use emotion regulation skills. Opposite action can be a helpful tool when the emotions don’t fit the situation. Say for example I was afraid about giving a presentation at work but there was no real threat to my life, opposite action would be a good strategy. This means going opposite of your urge. With anxiety the urge is to avoid the situation. It is possible to approach the situation instead, with time you should find the anxiety reduces. Similarly with anger. Instead of lashing out, is it possible to be kind? Not always so simple but worth a try.
3) Reducing intense emotions. When emotions are intense it can be hard to think straight. Simple skills are what’s needed to bring down high levels of emotion in the body. For example, calm breathing (e.g. 478, in for 4 hold 7, out 8), changing the temperature of your body or doing some intense exercise (e.g. starjumps for 2 minutes). Give it a try and see what works for you.
It's very normal to experience a range of emotions over Christmas. However if you are struggling with managing your emotions more generally and would like to find out more about how psychological therapy can help contact us today. Please note Dr Emma does not provide a crisis service and in an urgent situation attend A&E or contact 999/ 111.
