A nation in mourning: Reflections on loss and the Queen’s funeral
A nation in mourning: Reflections on loss and the Queen’s funeral.
Today felt like bearing witness to a moment in history. Snapshots of the Queens funeral I am sure will stay with me forever. It has been an emotional day for the country, even the world. It has been heart-warming to see how much the Queen meant to so many people and to witness the reverse of what happened in COVID times.
People coming together to support each other at a time of loss. Perhaps the numbers and willingness to wait for hours on end represents more than the loss of the Queen, a re-emergence of the need to connect with others in difficult times and times of loss. This has not always been possible over the last few years. I am sure many people were thinking of those they have lost today and experiencing a range of different emotions. Today has made me pause and think about loss. Here are a few reflections I would like to share.
It is completely normal to feel a range of emotions when grieving. These might include denial, anger, depression, guilt and even relief. Try to allow yourself to experience these emotions without pushing them away, or judging yourself for feeling a certain way (e.g. I should pull myself together). Today for many people who have been through bereavement and loss the Queens death and funeral may have bought up some of these feelings again. Talk to someone about how you are feeling. This could be a family member or friend. If you feel you are struggling to process loss and bereavement you could speak with a professional.
Be kind to yourself. Try to do something nice for yourself. You deserve it. Whether this is something simple like cooking a nice meal and watching a movie or booking an activity you enjoy. You might feel like withdrawing from others at this time particularly if you are feeling sad or upset. We know as psychologists that what works in terms of improving your mood is doing the opposite. Engaging in activities you enjoy or get a sense of achievement from. Being around others also helps so keep connecting with friends or family as much as possible.
Today I am left with a sense of sadness. However, there is also a sense of hope. The way in which the Queen fulfilled her role and stuck to her promise to serve this country over 70 years is inspiring. Today all the people she served said thank you in a special way that history will remember forever. The image that sticks in my mind of the Queen is from the Jubilee concert with Paddington Bear. I always wondered what she kept in her handbag and now we all know, it was a marmalade sandwich. I hope she is enjoying one tonight. RIP Queen Elizabeth 2nd.